Having a newborn means you'll probably be tired—really tired. Most new parents struggle with broken sleep from nighttime feedings, crying, and constant baby care. You might wonder if you'll ever sleep normally again. Though exhaustion is a normal part of early parenthood, you don't have to simply survive it. There are manageable steps to help manage your sleep and care for yourself as you get through this challenging time. With a few simple strategies and realistic expectations, you can get the rest with your new baby.
Why New Parents Experience Sleep Deprivation
New parenthood brings joy alongside significant sleep challenges. Your baby's needs don't follow a convenient schedule, leading to disrupted nights and exhaustion for most parents.
How Much Do New Parents Sleep on Average?
According to a survey of 1,300 parents, 7 out of 10 new parents lose an average of three hours of sleep every night during their baby's first year, which accumulates to approximately 133 nights worth of sleep sacrificed before the baby's first birthday. That's a staggering amount of lost rest.
Research shows most new parents fall into two sleep profiles. Parents in the "low sleep" group average only 5.7 hours per night during the early months, increasing slightly to 5.9 hours between 12-24 months. Those in the "average sleep" group manage about 7.3 hours consistently across the first two years. This falls far below the recommended 7-9 hours adults need for optimal functioning.
Mothers specifically experience a reduction of about 42 minutes of sleep per night after having a baby. Interestingly, while women typically sleep more than men before parenthood, after childbirth both tend to get similar amounts of sleep. Breastfeeding creates additional sleep challenges, with nursing mothers often getting less rest than formula-feeding parents.
How Long Are New Parents Sleep Deprived?
Research indicates that parents lose an average of six months' worth of sleep during the first 24 months of their child's life. The good news is that this improves gradually over time.
According to Stanford Medicine, approximately two-thirds of babies can sleep through the night regularly by 6 months old, and the National Sleep Foundation reports this increases to 80 percent by the nine-month mark. However, it's important to note that "sleeping through the night" typically means a 5-6 hour stretch, not necessarily a full night's sleep.
A University of Illinois study found that sleep patterns shift significantly over the first year. At 3 months, 60% of families were in the low maternal sleep group, but by 12 months, these numbers reversed, with 60% moving into the average sleep group as infant sleep patterns consolidated. Most parents report their sleep doesn't fully return to pre-baby patterns until their child reaches 12-18 months of age, though this varies based on your baby's unique temperament and development.
Why Sleep is Important for New Parents
Sleep isn't just a luxury for new parents—it's essential for your wellbeing and ability to care for your baby effectively.
The Impact on Health and Parenting
Sleep deprivation sends stress hormones soaring and impairs your ability to think clearly and regulate emotions. Without sufficient sleep, you're more likely to experience irritability, anxiety, and depression. These emotional effects make the already challenging transition to parenthood even harder.
The consequences extend beyond just feeling tired. Research shows sleep-deprived parents are more forgetful, more likely to develop depression, and face increased risk of traffic accidents. Sleep deprivation can also contribute to relationship conflicts and increases the risk of postpartum depression, which affects one in five birth parents.
How Many Hours of Sleep Should a New Mom Get?
While adults typically need 7-9 hours of sleep nightly, new parents rarely achieve this ideal. During the initial weeks after birth, new mothers typically get only 4 to 5 hours per night—half the recommended amount.
Researchers have identified two common sleep patterns for mothers: a low maternal sleep group (5-6 hours per night) and an average maternal sleep group that meets the recommended 7-8 hours. Most new mothers fall into the low sleep group during the first few months.
Even if getting 7-8 hours seems impossible in early parenthood, prioritizing the best sleep possible benefits both you and your baby. Quality matters too—consolidated chunks of sleep allow your body to enter the deeper, restorative phases crucial for recovery.
How to Get Sleep with a Newborn
Sleep will probably feel like a luxury that is out of reach when you have a newborn at home, but with careful planning and support, you can maximize the rest that you do get. Here are practical strategies tested and proven to help new parents get more precious sleep.
Sleep When Your Baby Sleeps
Newborns sleep a great deal, napping a lot of 2-4 hours during the daytime and averaging 16-18 hours of sleep. Most new mothers become excessively sleep-deprived if they only sleep at night and forgo those opportunities. Even though it may be inviting to use baby nap time to accomplish some household tasks, your sleeping is more important during this stressful period.
Make your sleeping environment conducive to taking quick power naps. Keep your bedroom dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Products like the Momcozy Baby Sound Machine with app remote control can help create a soothing environment for both you and your baby.
Share Nighttime Responsibilities
Cooperation is the secret to surviving the sleep-deprived newborn phase. To effectively take turns doing the nighttime feedings and care work, consider individual parents' differing needs and routine, e.g., work lives, physical healing, and health in general.
For breast-feeding mothers, who tend to get hammered by most of the nighttime awakenings, there are several strategies for sharing the burden:
- Taking shifts: One strategy is for partners to take turns handling nighttime duties. This might mean dividing the night into sections where one parent is "on duty" while the other gets uninterrupted sleep. A reliable monitor like the Momcozy 5-inch Dual Mode Smart Baby Monitor makes it easier for the off-duty parent to rest while the on-duty parent watches over the baby.
- Partner handling non-feeding responsibilities: Fathers or partners can manage all the other aspects of nighttime baby care. They can bring the baby to the mother for feeding, handle diaper changes, and take care of burping and settling the baby back to sleep afterward.
- Expressing milk for partner feedings: Once breastfeeding is well established (typically after 4-6 weeks), mothers can express milk so partners can handle some feedings, particularly for that crucial first long stretch of sleep.
Optimize Your Sleep Environment
Getting the right sleeping conditions is especially important when your turn comes once in a while. Wind down before bed with a normal bedtime routine to calm your body. Create ways to detach your mind, either through the process of reading, soothing music, warm showers, or deep breathing exercises.
Avoid substances that will interfere with the quality of sleep, such as caffeine, alcohol, or large meals prior to bedtime. Also limit screen time before bedtime because blue light from phones, tablets, and computers will interfere with melatonin release and cause sleep difficulty.
Adjust Your Expectations
During this fleeting time frame, perfectionism is your enemy. If you are struggling to keep up with daily chores on insufficient sleep, it's acceptable to prioritize the essential ones and sacrifice the rest. Channeling your accessible energy into what matters most will make you feel better about the day, even if you are utterly drained.
Harsh sleep deprivation of early parenting years is transient. Most infants begin more regular sleep patterns around 3-4 months, and by 6 months most have adjusted to a night's longer sleep.
How to Deal with Sleep Deprivation
Despite the best methods, some level of sleep deprivation cannot be prevented when you have a newborn. Here is how you manage it when you are unable to sleep enough.
Understand the Effects
Sleep deprivation affects your ability to think clearly and manage emotions because it elevates stress hormones in your system. Knowing this makes you conscious when sleepiness is creeping into your mood or judgment. Going 24 hours without sleep impairs your coordination and reaction time to the level of having a high blood alcohol level. Because of this, being an extra careful with driving or other attention-demanding tasks is necessary when you are very fatigued.
Protect Your Mental Health
Try gentle relaxation techniques like slow breathing before bedtime to calm your nervous system, especially after a few nights of disturbed sleep. Five minutes of mindfulness can do wonders. Waking at night due to babies is completely normal during the early months and this challenging phase is only temporary. Parents are always worried that something is wrong when their baby is not sleeping, but different sleeping patterns are simply a part of normal development.
Adjust Your Daily Life
Streamline your tasks during this period. Don't try to do it all—a tidy house, perfect baby care, and sufficient sleep just isn't feasible. Be resourceful with coffee (morning only, not afternoon), and avoid driving while extremely tired. Even putting your eyes closed and lying down can improve your energy when you can't sleep.
FAQs about New Parent Sleep Deprivation
1. Is it normal for new parents to not sleep?
Yes, it's completely normal for new parents to experience significant sleep disruption. A survey by The Lullaby Trust showed that 59% of parents with babies under 1 year old say their baby sleeps for less than 4 hours at a stretch, and 44% of parents think their baby should be sleeping longer than they actually do. Newborns have very small stomachs and will naturally wake every 2-3 hours to feed, regardless of day or night. Your baby's frequent waking isn't a sign you're doing anything wrong—it's biologically normal and part of their healthy development.
2. How do new moms get enough sleep?
New mothers rarely get "enough" sleep in the traditional sense during the first few months, but they can maximize the sleep they do get. Try to get consolidated chunks of sleep whenever possible, as this allows your body to enter the deeper, more restorative phases of sleep that are crucial for recovery. Practical strategies include sharing nighttime duties with your partner (they can bring the baby to you for feedings, handle diaper changes, and settle the baby afterward), accepting help from family and friends, sleeping when your baby sleeps instead of catching up on housework, and creating a sleep-friendly environment for the brief windows when you can rest.
3. When do parents start sleeping again?
Most parents begin to see improved sleep patterns around 3-6 months, with more substantial improvements by the one-year mark. According to Stanford Medicine, approximately two-thirds of infants can sleep through the night regularly by 6 months old, and the National Sleep Foundation reports this increases to 80 percent by the nine-month mark. A University of Illinois study found that at 3 months, 60% of mothers were in the low sleep group (averaging 5-6 hours per night), but by 12 months, the numbers reversed, with 60% moving into the average sleep group (7-8 hours per night). However, every baby is different, and many parents report that their sleep doesn't fully return to pre-baby patterns until their child reaches 12-18 months of age.
Take Care of Yourself Too!
Sleep deprivation is part of the process of bringing home a newborn, but it will pass. While your baby's sleep pattern is developing, don't forget about yourself. By being aware of what normal sleeping patterns are, setting realistic goals, splitting up work when possible, and using strategies for maximizing your limited sleep, you'll get through this challenging time. Don't be perfect – just do what works for your family. As your infant grows, you will gradually return to better sleep. This difficult time is common and temporary, and you and your baby will both get through it.
