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Labor: it’s the part of pregnancy that everyone talks about, and yet many first-time moms still feel totally unprepared when it hits. As a nurse and a mom of three, let me say this…you’re not alone if labor freaks you out a little (or a lot). But good news: understanding labor pain and preparing for it ahead of time can make a huge difference in how you experience it.
What Is Labor Pain?
Labor pain is the physical sensation of your body working hard to bring your baby into the world. For some, it's felt in the back. Others feel it deep in their pelvis or low belly. The sensations vary but are often described as:
- “Period cramps on steroids.”
- “The worst charley horse in your back and hips.”
- “Like your uterus is twisting itself into a pretzel.”
- “An intense wave—builds, peaks, then passes.”
And yes, it usually happens to everyone giving birth vaginally, even if you’re planning to get the epidural. There’s typically some discomfort on the road to delivery, and sometimes even before your epidural kicks in.
When Does It Start and How Long Does It Last?
The pain of labor generally begins in early labor (think mild contractions) and builds as you progress into active labor and eventually, pushing. The total duration? It can range from a few hours to a couple of days (especially for first-timers). But it’s not constant pain, it comes and goes in waves. And in between contractions, most people are actually pain-free.
Can You Prep for Labor?
YES. Labor is physical and mental—just like an endurance race. So let’s talk about tools…
3 Physical Techniques That Help with Labor Pain
These are go-to strategies we teach in our prenatal classes, and they work whether you’re planning to go unmedicated, get the epidural, or just want to feel more in control:
Counter Pressure
Have your support person apply firm pressure to your lower back during contractions. Think: knuckles or a massage ball pushing into your sacrum. It’s simple and so effective.
Hip Squeeze
While you’re on all fours or leaning over a bed, your partner applies pressure just above your hips (like they’re trying to bring them together). It opens the pelvis and eases tension.
Acupressure
The Large Intestine 4 point, which is located between your thumb and pointer finger, is a magic spot. Pressing there during a contraction can help distract your brain and reduce pain.
Bonus tools? Birthing balls, showers, bathtubs, and peanut balls can all help amplify these techniques.
3 Mental Techniques That Help with Labor Pain
Here’s the thing: labor pain isn’t bad pain. It’s productive. It’s bringing your baby to you. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Labor is as much a mental challenge as it is a physical one. And how you think about labor can influence how you feel during it.
Many people describe feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or unsure. That’s why mental preparation is key, so when labor kicks in, your brain doesn’t spiral, it steadies.
Try these three techniques:
The Tale of Two Arrows
Pain is the first arrow. Fear, doubt, panic? That’s the second arrow. This Buddhist concept reminds us that while we can’t always control the pain (arrow one), we can minimize the suffering (arrow two). When things get intense, ask yourself: Am I reacting to what’s happening, or to what I fear might happen? The awareness alone helps break the cycle.
Your Breath
Your breath is your anchor. When you feel yourself tensing up or mentally spiraling, come back to your breath. Try the 5-5-5: breathe in for 5, hold for 5, exhale for 5. Bonus: having your partner breathe with you can help you both stay calm and connected.
Mantras
A simple mantra like “I am strong, I am safe” or “This is temporary, and I can do hard things” can carry you through the toughest moments. Repeat it silently or out loud during contractions. Even better? Pick your mantra before labor starts and practice saying it regularly. Make it part of your “training.”
And Don’t Forget: You Deserve Support
Take a birth class that teaches your support person exactly how to help you. Honestly? Most hospital classes won’t cut it. You want real strategies. The kind doulas and labor nurses use every day. (And yes, you can train your partner in those techniques—it works.)
Also, don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. One simple tool we teach is the BRAIN acronym. You can use this anytime you and your partner are faced with making a decision in labor (and beyond):
- B: What are the BENEFITS? How might this positively impact me or my baby?
- R: What are the RISKS? How might this negatively impact me or my baby?
- A: What are the ALTERNATIVES? Are there any other options than the one being offered?
- I: What are my INSTINCTS telling me? Is there an initial gut reaction to the recommendation being made?
- N: What if I do NOTHING? Can I have more time to think this through? Can this procedure be delayed? What happens if I do nothing and wait?
Use it if something comes up that you’re unsure about.
Final Thoughts
Labor may not always feel magical in the moment, but that doesn’t make you any less of a rockstar. Whether you breathe through every contraction or get an epidural at 3 cm, the point is you’re doing it. And you deserve to feel proud, supported, and prepared.
You’ve got this—and we’ve got your back.
