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* By Sophie Martin, Lead Midwife & Author
As a midwife, I speak to mothers every single day who are navigating the intense, beautiful, and often overwhelming early days of parenthood. There is so much advice out there, but sometimes the loudest voice is the one in your own head—the one worrying if you are doing enough.
I’ve partnered with Momcozy to share four key messages that I wish every new mum could hear. We’ve broken these down into short videos below to help reassure you on your journey.
1. The Real Fear: It’s Not the Crying, It’s the Not Knowing
As a midwife, I’ve heard this from so many mums: "I’m not afraid my baby will cry… I’m afraid I won’t know when they do."
And it makes perfect sense. After birth, a mother’s brain becomes wired to stay alert for her baby’s safety – it’s a hormonal and instinctive change recognised by the NHS and NCT. So when you can’t see or hear your baby, your mind fills in the gaps with worst-case scenarios.
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Are they crying?
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Are they still sleeping?
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Is anyone comforting them?
It helps to know that crying is communication. Learning to understand what your baby's cry means can significantly reduce that initial panic.
This isn’t overthinking. This is your protective system doing exactly what it was designed to do.
What I often tell mums is: You don’t have to stay home to be a good mother. You just need a way to reassure your mind when it starts to panic.
That’s where tools like the Momcozy BM04 video baby monitor can actually support maternal mental health – not by replacing you, but by giving you clarity when you need it most:
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Real-time live view (1080P, low delay): Instead of imagining what might be happening, you can open the app and see your baby as they are.
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Cry detection alert: You don’t have to stare at the screen all day; the moment your baby cries, you’ll get notified.
If you're unsure which device suits your home best, checking a detailed baby monitor comparison review can help you see how the BM04's dual-mode features stack up against others for peace of mind.
So you’re not constantly checking… but you also won’t miss when your baby truly needs you. This isn’t about watching every move. It’s about your brain being able to say: "I’ve seen it with my own eyes. They’re okay."
Because the real fear isn’t that a baby will cry. The real fear is not knowing that they did.
2. The Truth About Separation: Connection vs. Presence
Mums often ask me: "Does my baby know I’ve left the room? Will they feel abandoned if I’m not there?"
The truth is – babies can’t measure distance, but they can sense absence of connection. From just a few weeks old, babies recognise their mother’s voice, heartbeat rhythm and scent. When that connection disappears, they don’t think "Mum has left me" – they simply begin to search for you.
They might make small sounds, root around as if looking for you, or suddenly start to cry. According to attachment theory (Bowlby / Ainsworth) and findings from the UK’s NCT, babies don’t cry because you’re gone – they cry to ask: "Will someone respond to me?"
So no – stepping out of the room, going for a walk, or leaving the house for a short while won’t damage your bond. What truly matters is whether they feel heard when they need you.
That’s why I tell mums: You don’t always have to be physically present, but you do need a way to stay emotionally available. And this is where tools like this dual-mode smart baby monitor can help in a gentle, supportive way – not as surveillance, but as reassurance.
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Two-way talk: Sometimes hearing your voice – a quiet "Mummy’s here" – is enough to help your baby calm their breathing and settle.
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Studies show (University of Montreal, 2021) that a mother’s voice can lower an infant’s heart rate and stress levels more than silence or white noise.
This feature is particularly helpful if you are wondering what to do when your baby cries inconsolably. Being able to offer immediate verbal comfort while you make your way to the room can bridge that small gap of separation.
So yes, your baby notices when you’re not right beside them. But what makes them feel truly safe is not your constant presence… It’s knowing you’ll respond when they call for you.
3. Don't Leave Your Peace of Mind Behind
This is something I say to mums all the time: "You’re allowed to step away from your baby. What matters is that your peace of mind goes with you."
Most mums aren’t afraid their baby will cry – they’re afraid that leaving the room makes them a bad mother. They’ll whisper to me: "If I go to the shop… is that selfish?" or "If he wakes up and I’m not there, will he think I’ve left him?"
Here’s what I want every mum to know — and what organisations like the NHS, NCT and the Royal College of Midwives all agree on: Short separations do not harm your baby’s attachment. What matters is not constant presence, but consistent response.
Attachment theory tells us that babies feel secure when:
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They can explore or sleep peacefully.
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And when they cry, someone comes.
So yes — you can leave the room, go to the kitchen, even step outside for a breath of air. But it helps to have a way to check in— not all the time, only when your heart needs it.
That’s why, for some mums, tools like the Momcozy video baby monitors offer emotional support rather than surveillance.
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Cry Detection Alerts: You don’t have to keep watching, but the moment your baby cries, you’ll know.
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Real-time live view: A quick glance shows if they’re sleeping peacefully or need you.
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Clear night vision: No need to turn on lights or walk across the room just to check if they’re okay.
Advanced features like these are a key reason why experts consistently list models with clear night vision among the best video baby monitors of 2025. It's about having the right technology to support your intuition.
This doesn’t replace you. It simply tells your brain: "He’s safe. You can breathe." Because leaving isn’t the problem. Leaving your peace of mind is.
4. Taking a Break Makes You Human, Not a "Bad Mum"
I wish every mum could hear this: Needing a break doesn’t mean you’re running away from motherhood – it means your nervous system needs to breathe.
So many mums tell me in a quiet voice: "Sometimes I just want to drink a coffee alone in silence" or "Is it wrong that I want to walk without pushing the pram for once?"
No, it’s not wrong. It’s human.
If you ever doubt yourself, remember that taking care of your mental health is part of taking care of your baby. Understanding why a baby monitor is necessary for modern parenting is often about accepting that you deserve those moments of rest.
The NHS and NICE guidelines on postnatal mental health are very clear – mothers need regular moments without sensory overload. No crying, no being touched, no constant alertness. Just a minute to exist as themselves. Because when your body stays in fight-or-flight mode for too long – listening for every cry, waking at every sound – your brain becomes exhausted. That’s when patience disappears, tears come easily, and guilt becomes heavy.
So I tell my mums: You’re allowed to step outside. To drink a coffee. To miss your baby, but also enjoy the quiet. This isn’t abandonment – it’s recovery.
But I also know, the reason many mums don’t leave… isn’t because they don’t want to. It’s because they’re afraid of not knowing how their baby is. That’s where something like a reliable smart baby camera becomes less about technology, and more about mental relief.
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While you’re out, you can still see your baby in real time, right there on your phone.
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If they cry, you get an alert immediately, so you’re not constantly checking, but you won’t miss it either.
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You can watch them sleep peacefully, and whisper if you want: "Mummy’s here."
That’s not escaping motherhood — that’s carrying love with you, even when you’re not in the room. Because a rested mum isn’t a selfish mum. She’s a safer, softer, and stronger one.
Sophie’s Recommendation: The BM04 Baby Monitor
"The BM04 Baby Monitor makes checking on your baby easy with both a handheld monitor and an app. The image quality is high, and I like the lullabies you can play to soothe your baby back to sleep."
About the Author
Sophie Martin is a Lead Midwife, author of The Infertile Midwife, and a mother of two. She serves as a Medical Advisor for BabyCentre UK & Emma’s Diary. Follow Sophie on Instagram: @the.infertile.midwife
