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Separation anxiety in babies is something that almost every parent will go through but it doesn't stop it from being exhausting. Your baby is laughing one moment and the next they're clinging to you and crying the moment they see you leave. It's all a part of their growth but many parents have been left wondering, "When does separation anxiety occur?" and "How long does separation anxiety last in babies?" In this article, we will be exploring what separation anxiety is, why it occurs, and how you can guide your baby through it kindly. We will also include some information on the equipment that will be able to assist you and your baby.
What Is Separation Anxiety in Babies?
Baby separation anxiety is when your little one is beginning to realize that you exist even when you are not in the same room. That realization, known as "object permanence," is thrilling to them but also frightening. Your baby is aware when you leave, but has not yet figured out that you return. That is when the clinging, crying, or whining usually sets in.
The American Academy of Pediatrics states that separation anxiety is a sign that your baby is forming a good, healthy attachment to you. It's a normal part of one stage of their emotional growth.
As time passes, your baby will realize that every time you leave, you always return. By continuing showering your baby with love and care, he or she will learn to outgrow his or her separation anxiety.
What Does Separation Anxiety in Babies Look Like?
Separation anxiety in infants will usually appear as clinginess or crying when Mom or Dad is leaving. Your baby might complain at drop-off time, at bedtime, or with strangers. These are stressful events, but they're a part of normal baby development.
Some of the common separation anxiety includes:
- Crying when a caregiver exits the room
- Reaching or crawling towards you
- Not being comforted by others
- Trouble sleeping alone or waking up more often
- Pickiness at daycare or hand-offs
AAP calls these behaviors a normal process of your baby learning to have healthy emotional attachments. Your baby is not attempting to be stubborn—she just needs assurance that she still has a connection with you.
Why Separation Anxiety Happens?
As their brains grow, they begin to learn more about the world—but some things change frighteningly at first.
Learning Object Permanence
Before they're around 6 months, babies don't know people or things still exist when they can't see them. They learn to know that you're still there when you get up and leave the room—and that's when anxiety starts.
- Your baby will cry or reach when you leave
- They can look around or crawl behind you
- They may not prefer other individuals to possess
This new thinking is a sign of brain development—and a significant one! But it can be confusing for your baby too.
Why It Happens
Your baby feels secure when you are near. When you leave (even for a short time), they feel uncertain or afraid.
Separation anxiety is more severe when:
- Your baby is tired or not feeling well
- They are in a novel environment (e.g., daycare)
- Their routine changes suddenly
Separation anxiety, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, is a signal that your baby is establishing a healthy, good attachment to you. It's a normal step in one phase of their emotional development.
Your baby will learn, with patience and with love, that you always come back—and that begins confidence.
When Do Babies Develop Separation Anxiety?
Infants usually start experiencing separation anxiety at 6 to 9 months old. It makes them more distressed when you or a caregiver leaves the room. You can probably notice this stage starts when there is a disruption in a routine, such as when your baby starts sleeping in their own bed, meets new people, or begins going to daycare.
How Long Does Separation Anxiety Last in Babies?
Most babies will have symptoms at some point during the first year, and it typically peaks worst at 10 to 18 months when emotional attachment is highest. The American Academy of Pediatrics states this normal phase typically fades by age 2 or 3, as little ones understand that separations are temporary and safe.
Some babies overcome this phase faster or slower than others, and that is okay. This phase may be difficult for parents to go through, so tools like soothing devices or a carrier can help make it easier. Soothing devices such as Momcozy Smart Baby Sound Machine contribute to that sense of security with calming sounds — white noise and lullabies — that create emotional security. With app control, you are able to change settings even from the other room, so transitions are a bit easier for both of you.
Gentle Tips for Easing Separation Anxiety
Based on guidance from the AAP and child development experts
Separation anxiety is a scary phase for your babies and a difficult experience for parents. However, applying simple habits can help you overcome this stage of your baby’s growth. Here are some of the things you can do to help your baby overcome his fear of you leaving:
Practice Short Goodbyes
Start by leaving the room for just a minute or two, then returning calmly. This teaches your baby that you always come back.
Keep Goodbyes Brief and Warm
Lingering will make your baby more uncertain. A hug that is brief, a pleasant voice, and an assurance of calm departure are more effective than stealing away.
Build a Calm, Predictable Routine
Establish consistent routines for bedtime, naps, and departures. Predictability helps your baby feel secure and know what to expect.
Offer a Comfort Item
A security item like a soft blanket or favorite toy will comfort your baby when you're not around. Having the Momcozy PureHug Baby Carrier helps them feel secure and connected, even during daily tasks or outings. It’s a great way to build trust and reduce clinginess over time.
Use Soothing Tools
Soothing noise can lower separation stress. The Momcozy Smart Baby Sound Machine is an effective means of creating a comforting, home-like setting even when you are not there.
Be Calm and Consistent
Your baby looks to you to understand how to feel. If you stay relaxed and steady, it helps them feel the same.
With consistency, love, and care, your baby will soon realize that your leaves are temporary and that you always come back.
When to Get Help for Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety is a normal phase in the life of your baby, but sometimes it appears more severe than usual. Fussy days, clinginess, or crying seems completely fine to babies, particularly during transitional periods. However, if you've seen that separation anxiety is beginning to affect your baby's mood, eating, or sleep on a sustained basis, make sure to call up the pediatrician for assistance.
These are indicators that may signify it's time to seek assistance:
- Your child still suffers from intense separation anxiety well into toddlerhood
- The fear worsens over time, not improves
- Your baby finds it hard to settle down even when you return
- It's interfering with their playing, eating, or sleeping
- You are unsure or do not know what to do
Anxiety can be caused by many factors, especially in your baby’s environment. It's important that you consult your doctor when you feel that something is wrong or different to his or her usual reaction.
Trust your instincts. You know your baby best. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to ask for guidance. Your doctor would be more than happy to help and is always available.
FAQs About Separation Anxiety
At What Age Does Separation Anxiety Peak?
Separation anxiety can appear as early as 6 months but it usually worsens at 10 and 18 months. At this time your baby will be more sensitive to your presence and attention. It's important that you provide more care and affection at this stage of their growth to ease the anxiety that your baby feels.
How Long Does It Take a Baby to Get Over Separation Anxiety?
Most babies outgrow this stage at 2 to 3 years of age. However, proper routine and goodbyes can help reduce the intense effects of your absence and help make them feel more assured that you will always come back.
Is It Okay to Let a Baby Cry During Separation Anxiety?
It's all right if your infant does cry a little when you leave—this is how they communicate their feelings. Most pediatricians advise against "sneaking out." Say a hasty but affectionate goodbye, then leave. This teaches your baby you come and go, a trust experience. If the crying persists for a significant amount of time or is extremely loud, it's all right to stop, comfort them, and try again.
Conclusion
It's hard to manage your baby's separation anxiety, but it's a normal aspect of your baby's attachment, learning, and emotional growth. The clinging or tantrums are only brief—everything is about your child's security and autonomy. With routines as easy as they are, piles of comfort, and goodbyes with affection, your baby will figure out eventually that it is okay when you leave – because it's temporary
Each baby is different from the others – some have a more intense reaction to your absence, while others are mild. Understanding what, when, and how long a separation anxiety affects your baby can help you stay calm and at ease during these tough times. Utilizing tools like Momcozy’s Smart Baby Sound Machine and PureHug Carrier, and with proper time and care, you and your baby will overcome this stage of your baby’s growth.
