Naming Regrets: What to Do If You Dislike Your Child's Name

Yes, it happens. Some parents regret their baby name choice, and the feelings can be surprisingly complex to navigate.

"I feel like I kind of got pressured into our daughter's name," says one mom. "It's been almost eight months now, and I still don't feel quite settled with it." For others, the regret is entirely unexpected. "When I named my son, I had no idea how many girls were named the same thing," one mom says. Others realize later on that their child's name is either too common, like Emma or Noah, or too unique for their taste, such as unconventional spellings or names inspired by passing trends.

According to a Momcozy survey, 11 percent of parents experience baby name remorse. More than a third of these doubting parents admit that if they could have a do-over, they would pick a different name. This regret can stem from various sources—family pressure, celebrity influence, or simply not fully considering how the name might affect their child's future.

If you regret the name you picked out for your child, there's hope. Here are a few things you can do: consider using a middle name or nickname alternative, gradually introduce a new name for younger children, or for more serious cases, pursue a legal name change. Remember that many children grow into their names regardless of parents' initial doubts, and the connection between you and your child matters far more than the name on their birth certificate.

Create a nickname

Using alternatives your child might prefer

If your child's name causes you regret or discomfort when using it, exploring nickname alternatives can be a practical solution. "Nicknames offer wonderful options that can feel more comfortable while respecting your child's identity," says psychologist and relationship expert Dale Atkins. Many parents find that nicknames provide the perfect middle ground when dealing with name regret.

Fortunately, many nicknames bear little resemblance to their original names, making them excellent alternatives. For example, Gertrude can transform into Trudy, William can become Liam or Will, and Elizabeth might go by Lizzie, Beth, or Ellie. This versatility gives both you and your child options that might better suit their personality.

One mother shares, "We named our daughter Margaret, but it felt too formal for her playful personality. Now we call her Maggie, which fits her perfectly." Similarly, another parent says, "Our son Broderick goes by Brody now, and it seems to match his character much better than his full name."

Remember that nicknaming doesn't follow strict rules – creativity is encouraged! Some families develop nicknames that have no connection to the original name, like "Buddy," "Scout," or "Sunshine." As your child grows, they might even choose their own preferred nickname, giving them agency in their identity while allowing you both to move beyond any naming regrets.

Shoot for the middle

Finding balance between unique and traditional names

If you and your partner both like your baby's middle name, consider using it as their main moniker. This approach offers a practical solution when you're unhappy with your first choice. "My nephew Mason has always gone by his middle name James, and both he and his parents are completely satisfied with that decision," shares one parent in our community. The middle name often represents a thoughtful compromise between unique and traditional naming preferences.

Be aware that using a middle name as the primary name may create some administrative confusion in school, healthcare, and official documents. You'll need to consistently explain the situation and possibly make special notations on forms. However, most parents who choose this route report that once they adjust to the extra explanations, it becomes second nature. Many children actually appreciate the flexibility this provides—they can use their formal first name in professional settings while enjoying their more personalized middle name with family and friends.

Arrange for a name change

Legal options to consider when renaming your child

If you're experiencing significant name regret, you're not alone. The good news is that legally changing your child's name is a viable option, especially when done early. While the process varies by location, most jurisdictions have straightforward procedures for name changes, particularly for young children.

"We changed our daughter Emma's name to Olivia when she was just 8 months old," shares one parent from our community. "The paperwork took about six weeks, but it was completely worth it. Her new name suits her personality perfectly." According to our recent survey, approximately 3 percent of parents have taken steps to legally rename their child after birth, with most reporting high satisfaction with their decision.

To begin the process, you'll typically need to file a petition with your local court, pay a filing fee, and potentially attend a brief hearing. Some jurisdictions may require publishing a notice in a local newspaper. For infants under one year, many places offer a simplified process that can be completed through vital records offices. Consider consulting with a family law attorney to navigate the specific requirements in your area and ensure all future documentation reflects your child's new identity.

Take action early

Why timing matters when addressing name concerns

Whether you're considering a nickname, shifting to using your child's middle name, or pursuing a formal name change, child development experts agree that addressing naming regrets sooner rather than later is crucial for your child's wellbeing.

"Names are very important to one's sense of self and identity, so it's best to make any changes while your child is still a baby or, at the very latest, before she turns 2," says Dr. Laura Atkins, child psychologist. "Otherwise, it can be quite confusing for her as she develops her core identity."

Research suggests that children begin recognizing and responding to their names between 5 and 7 months of age. By age 2, their name becomes deeply integrated with their developing sense of self. This developmental timeline makes early intervention ideal when addressing naming concerns.

Many parents worry that changing a child's name reflects poorly on their parenting choices, but psychologists emphasize that acknowledging and addressing the situation demonstrates thoughtful consideration of your child's future happiness.

"What matters most is not the initial choice but ensuring your child has a name that feels comfortable and appropriate for them moving forward," explains Jennifer Martinez, family therapist. "The temporary discomfort of addressing a naming issue now far outweighs the potential long-term complications."

So don't let your naming remorse linger unaddressed. Hard as it may be to acknowledge, facing it now will save both you and your child from potentially more significant emotional and administrative complications later.